The Stig

Otherwise known as Jackie, she has a great love of her Caberg helmet with its tinted inner visor. A one time GTR1000 rider, she now commutes back and forward to work with me on her X9 250.

The Stig can claim a lot of the credit for me commuting on a scooter. When I met her over 20 years ago she rode a Honda Super Dream and I rode a Puch bicycle! She gave up biking in the early 90’s due largely to the huge cost of maintaining the GTR when we were struggling with Norman Lamont’s 15% interest rates. However, back in 2003 she saw the opportunity to get back on two wheels when she saw a good deal on the X9. It made her commute to Kingston much faster and cheaper than before. I took this as a prompt to give up the bus and tube, save money, and bike to Central London where The Stig now works with me.

I have been very lucky. The Stig taught me a lot about safe riding. I had a little bit of experience of motorcycles from my teens, I even owned one of these –



But in those days there was little training as you could hop right onto a 250 with the only competence you needed was the ability to write a cheque and send it off to DVLA. The Stig’s advice has been invaluable, as has watching and learning as I rode pillion with her a lot in the GTR days.

I know she doesn’t really approve of me riding a Vespa having ridden with back patch wannabees before she met me. She likes the fact that the X9 looks more motorcycle than scooter, especially from the front. But she also likes the automatic transmission in London traffic. However, geared machines have their uses. The heavy clutch on the GTR did more to rehabilitate The Stig’s broken hand in a few months than the NHS Physiotherapy service had managed!

Today we were not working and decided that for the second day running I would venture beyond the M25 in the company of an X9. It must be ten years or more since we visited Reigate, so we set off on the assurance from the Reigate and Banstead Borough Council website that there is free motorcycle parking in their car parks. Now don’t get me wrong, I am always grateful when the needs of motorcyclists are taken seriously, but is this the world’s smallest dedicated Solo Motorcycle Bay? I really would like to see pictures of any smaller ones!

We spent a couple of hours in Reigate, other than the bookshop, we didn’t find much of interest in the main streets, but we enjoyed exploring the Castle Gardens and the Priory Park. We left just before the rain, and having travelled the direct route down the A217 we returned via the A25 and round the back side of Box Hill and back to the Kingswood Roundabout as Jim had taken me yesterday. It started to get damp on the way back but we missed most of the downpour that hit just after we got home.

Box Hill or Bust

Jim, someone I have known for along while before discovering a shared interest in scooters took me out for ride in the Surrey countryside today. Despite commuting for nearly three years, the furthest out from the city I had ridden on two wheels was Burgheath. We agreed to meet up on Epsom Downs, at the fantastic viewpoint where you can see almost all of London laid out before you. Two problems, the mixed sun and clouds had become persistent heavy showers just before I set out, and when I got to the Downs, there was racing on and the normally free car parks had been turned into £5 a day parking for besuited race goers heading for the Grandstand. Fortunately I was able to slot into a coach park without being stopped, and Jim was along on his X9 before long.

Jim took us through Headley to Rykers Café at the foot of Box Hill and a favourite meeting spot for bikers since time immemorial. The journey there was a bit hairy in places. The rain had been quiet heavy, and the roads were often windy, steep, very wet, and with gravel and branches washed across them. We took it carefully, but it was good fun, if requiring a lot of concentration. Although not previously riding in these conditions, I have driven on these roads many times so knew what to expect, and what to take carefully. In all I was quite impressed with the Vespa. It held the line well even when the road was more river than tarmac. There were a couple of scary moments when the rear Sava slipped ever so slightly on wet manhole covers etc, but this was no worse than I get in London when commuting in the rain.

By the time we got to Rykers the sun was back out. The ground was still wet, and the car park was lacking many of the bikes the sun would not doubt bring out later on this Bank Holiday afternoon. Jim bought me a rather overpriced tea. Rykers must serve the smallest cup of tea I have ever seen. Next time I will be ordering large!





After this short refreshment we set of in improving weather for our lunch location. Jim took us a roundabout along the downs to the north of the A25, then an enjoyable ride down a steep wooded road, through Abinger until we got to Ockley.

We parked up, chatted, and had a drink and a light lunch. I popped outside to see if I could get a phone signal. No joy, but I did see a Vespa PX, two up, and with a mountain of luggage on the font, back and on the footplate. It was travelling at speed on a long straight stretch of road. Both were Italian made - the road was built by the Romans, the PX was weaving all over the place!

After stopping for about an hour we set of back. Jim picked a route cross country towards Reigate, then back along the A25 towards Dorking. The weather had got much better by now with dry roads, excellent visibility, and much faster riding. There were still some hazards though. The horse was simple enough, slow down, try not to scare the poor animal. I was a bit more alarmed, and had to check I was really riding and not just watching an official hazard awareness video when we swept round a corner to see a woman walking up a narrow lane with a dog on a lead, and a wide push chair. Fortunately, nothing was coming the other way so we slowed and passed with no problems.


At Betchworth we headed off to the East of Box Hill towards the Kingswood Roundabout on the A217. At the Burgheath lights we went our separate ways with me getting to Tescos on the Sutton Bypass just before they closed at 4pm.

In all a very enjoyable ride out, and big thanks for Jim for not getting us lost! I was very impressed with how the Vespa coped with the narrow winding back roads in Surrey which really showed how this bike is not just a city commuter and lives up to its Granturismo epithet.

Final Destination 2

The roads are still pretty quiet in London as many people are still clearly away on holiday. However, the standard of driving has taken a massive leap towards the depths in the last week with me witnessing several very dangerous manoeuvres by all types of road users, including the pedestrian I had to swerve round in Stockwell as they walked down the middle of the A3 at the height of rush hour with their back to the traffic chatting on their mobile phone!

The journey home today was pretty eventful. Leaving work with Jackie she had to take evasive action to avoid a small white van being driven very aggressively along the Embankment under Hungerford Bridge. She then looked with horror as the van tried to race me, first trying to pass me on the right, then when that didn’t work, he tried cutting between me and the coaches parked along the riverside. As we approached Westminster Bridge I moved to the left and waved hi m through. He was screaming some abuse and waving his arms aggressively as he went by. He shot off and then narrowly missed a cyclist and another vehicle before queuing to turn right into Parliament Square.

The joy of couriers that drive like this is they advertise their employers on the back of their vans – so when I got home I Googled (yes Google – it is a verb!) only to discover that the head of the company is chair of the despatch trade body. I have emailed to ask him what he thinks of this sort of behaviour!

That wasn’t the end of it. Having crossed Westminster Bridge, whilst following the south side of the River through Nine Elms a red hatchback alongside me on a dual carriageway decided to change land without signalling or, presumably, looking! I had to brake and take evasive action. I followed the car along to the next junction using my horn in a vain attempt to get some sort of acknowledgement from the driver. As I said the other day, I much prefer it if a road user doing wrong admits their mistake – we all learn that way. It is the idiots who just don’t understand the consequences of their actions that gets my goat!

She stopped at the lights, and I pulled alongside still using my horn. She sat there looking ahead – I thought she might be deliberately ignoring me so as her window was wound down I flipped up my visor and said to her “Did you not see me?”
She turned and said “Whaah?”
I said, “Did you not see me?”
She said “Whaah?”
I asked a third time. She then turned off the very load music she was listening to and said “Whaah?”
I said, “You nearly hit me back then. Did you not see me?” She said “Whaah?”
Starting to feel a bit like Jules in Pulp Fiction I really wanted the next line to be “Say “what” again. SAY “WHAT” AGAIN. I dare you, I double dare you, motherfucker. Say “what” one more goddamn time!”
Instead the lights changed, we both moved off towards Battersea, and I am now on the lookout for badly driven red hatchbacks!

Final Destination

This morning on the way to work, Jackie and I could tell something wasn’t right as we passed through Clapham. There was a queue of cars right up Clapham High Street, when at 8.15 in mid-August, traffic should be travelling quite smoothly. We were passed by a Police car with flashing lights, and at Clapham North Station the Police were starting to close the road. There had been an accident at the junction of the A3 Clapham Road with Union Road. The police had closed everything off and directed all traffic down Mayflower Road. The back streets were jammed solid and it took several minutes to cut through back streets to get back onto the A3 at Stockwell.

Later at work I was talking to an ex-boss of mine and I asked him what had happened. He lives right where the accident occurred, and I know I would only be getting up at that time in the morning! He said it looked nasty. A cyclist under a lorry. I hope it wasn’t as bad as he said it looked. I have seen accidents at that junction before. Cyclists carry on when the lights change and get hit by vehicles coming out of Union Road. I have seen cyclists hit that way, fortunately each time they picked themselves up and were able to cycle on. This time it was worse, but I hope the cyclist wasn’t at fault.

On the way home I was travelling the opposite way along tha A3 at Roehampton Vale. I had seen a dark blue Fiesta being driven by a madman swapping lanes, tailgating and cutting between the traffic. I left him behind at the Roehampton lights, but after passing ASDA in the right-hand lane, I saw him try and overtake me on the left, he pulled very close to the van in front of him that I was slowly passing, and then, to my amazement, he started pulling into my lane. I braked and he suddenly saw me (bright lights – hi-viz clothing, bright daylight) and pulled back into his lane. I mouthed obscenities at him, but to his credit, he waved to make clear that he knew he had made a mistake. I acknowledged that (I don’t mind playing fair when cagers realise how stupid they have been) and pulled away.

Performance Boost!

Having spent most of the day indoors at the computer, I looked outside at 5pm and realised what a wonderful afternoon it was! Just right for a short ride out before my other half got home. It was also a chance to see how effective my new flyscreen is. This small screen is only eight inches high - it looks like it does nothing, but Piaggio have designed it well and it fits in with the style and curves of the bike. This screen is meant to make a significant performance improvement, and boy it does!



The Granturismo 125 is not the fastest scooter you will come across! It is big and heavy, and shares the same engine as plenty of other bikes which all tend to be lighter or more streamlined. My GT struggles to exceed 60mph, which is fine in the city, but limiting on the open road. I fitted the screen last week, so today was the chance to find if it really makes a difference.

I pulled onto the A3 at Kingston and acceleration felt very smooth - passed under the Hook Underpass, acceleration still very smooth - for once the needle didn't stop at 60, it didn't stop at 65, it carried on rising until 70! A 15% increase in top speed from a small piece of plastic! Unbelievable but true!

Having very quickly got to the Esher turn off, I left the A3 and took a very pleasant ride through Esher and Thames Ditton - I returned via Hinchley Wood and back onto the A3. The weather was great, the traffic was great, the increased performance was great! 65 quid well spent!

Owzat!

Friday evening Jackie and I went by scooter to visit a friend and fellow scooter enthusiast. The early evening ride was pleasant enough, but some kids playing cricket alongside the A3 managed to hit my bike with a ball as I rode past. Fortunately, I can see no damage to the bike or me!

At my friends BBQ, it was a hellish job avoiding the firkin of locally brewed bitter he had bought in for what looked to be a long weekend of serious drinking. I make a strict rule never to drink when driving or riding, but it did look so appetising! Fortunately, so did the food. Jim had put on an excellent spread; the minted lamb kebabs were a delight!

Jim, as always was good company, but the best bit of the evening was the ride home. I always enjoy riding in London late at night, especially in summer. The cool clear air, the dry, open roads, and the simple pleasure of riding without the knowledge that up ahead there will be a queue of stationary traffic to negotiate!

La Dolce Vita

Today is what riding in London is all about! This morning the roads from SW London were clear of congestion, the sky was blue, the temperature was a sensible 18C. Riding in was a joy! 12 miles across London in 45 minutes, as it should be!

Riding home was much the same. Left Westminster at 6.40pm and was home in Surrey by 7.25. It was very much warmer, but very comfortable as I almost never had to stop!

Yes, I know this post is boring! But some days, now and again, it really is just so good there is nothing to write about!

You can't park that there!

I am no great lover of cyclists in London. They do great good for the planet, they do the right thing and make themselves more, and not less healthy on their way to work. I understand the frustrations of trying to cope in a city designed for people, but usurped by huge inhuman mechanical vehicles.

I spent nearly a quarter of a century as a cyclist – cycling to work, cycling to the shops, and most importantly, cycling to the pub! But what I didn’t do, is make every effort to be a menace to every other road user, whether the bus full of pensioners trying to turn right whilst avoiding the cyclist going through the red light, the ambulance blocked at a junction by the cyclist who seems to be deaf and blind to the flashing blue light, or the school children sent scattering at a lollipop controlled school crossing by cyclists determined to absolve themselves of any responsibility for their actions. Yes, I know not all cyclists are like this, but when the majority, rather than the minority start stopping at red lights, I will start to believe they are not an alien species.

Despite being a cyclist turned to the dark side – there is one battle I am securely on the cyclist’s side. Cyclists, just like motorcyclists, need proper provision. National, local and regional government is meant to support the use of two wheels over four to reduce congestion and minimise pollution. But where are the facilities? Motorcyclists have long seen that central London motorcycle bays are getting more and more full. Gone 9.15 in the morning in the Covent Garden/Strand area and there will be no chance of parking a powered two-wheeler. In Whitehall the bays are long gone well before that.I am lucky; my employer leases a building with a large subterranean garage, which I use. But hang on – the landlord seems reluctant to authorise more and more motorcyclists and cyclists to use this space. New applicants to get their security passes enabled for the garage are turned down. Presumably this is so the bikes don’t get in the way of the 4x4s, Ferraris and Porches that occupy half the places down there. Sensible vehicles occupy some of the rest, but the remainder are left empty. Presumably the landlord gets paid rent for those spaces just in case the owner can be bothered to drive their planet destroying vehicle into the congestion charge zone.

So what do two-wheelers do? Motorcycles look for the local bike bays. Fortunately there are plenty, but as mentioned above, come not long after 9am, and they are gone. The bicycles simply get chained to parking meters and lampposts. Hang on – cycles might be environmentally friendly, but there are two problems. Firstly, in central London chained bicycles are seen as a menace – the IRA packed the frames full of explosives and so many buildings of a sensitive nature or with VIP visitors, just don’t want them there and will forcibly remove them if chained to private property. But surely an out of the way lamppost is OK? Not any more. Westminster Council, famous for selling off dead bodies so they would not have to maintain the cemetery and moving poor residents so that their homes could be sold to up-market types, have started posting notices on bicycles parked on Westminster streets that they will be treated as litter unless removed. Westminster seem to think the 3000 dedicated bicycle bays they provide is sufficient, especially as they plan to increase that by 300 a year. Sorry! But there must be 30,000 cyclists entering Westminster every morning. What do the other 27,000 do?

As I said above, I am no great lover of the London cyclist. I might have been one once, but I have had to brake heavily too many times to avoid collision with people too ignorant or too egotistical to look over their shoulder before changing direction. I have had to avoid cyclists running through red lights too often to learn to love them, but I recognise a bad deal when they get one – and Westminster are behaving in a way that shows how 4x4 centric they really are!

The heat is on

After nearly eleven years in the tender hands of Southwest Trains and London Underground I finally took the plunge and decided to commute from my Surrey home to my Westminster job on two wheels.

Yes, I seriously thought about cycling. I didn't drive until I was 30 so for the first three decades of my life I cycled most places, but I decided 12 miles, much of it up hill, was just too far for this middle aged office worker!

When the price of the annual season ticket finally passed the price of a brand new small scooter, the decision was made - I bought my first powered two-wheeler. For two years I rode a 50cc Piaggio which was a serious adventure, I no doubt will recount, but last year I splashed out on a Vespa Granturismo 125 even though that meant having to take the CBT before I could legally ride it.

Currently the roads are very clear of traffic. Maybe the warm weather, currently over 30C is keeping people in doors, but even Wandsworth is virtually traffic free at 5pm this week. Even though it is easy to keep moving, the heat is starting to prove a problem. Yesterday the road surface was starting to melt, and today, with the higher humidity, so was I!

I am a firm believer in wearing protection on a bike. I once lost some skin coming off a pillion in my teens. Although it was very hot today, it could have been so much worse. I have invested in a flip up helmet to get some air on my face, a vented mesh jacket to get some air on my body, and some vented mesh gloves to get some air on my hands. I know it looks and feels cooler to ride bare handed in shirt sleeves, but road rash doesn't feel very cool when it happens to you!